Game Misconduct Volume 1 Edition 1

Brett Favre Returns To College In Hopes Of Returning To The NFL

GREEN BAY -- A tearful Brett Favre returned to the very same podium he announced his retirement on March 5th.
"I was wrong to retire and with the lack of available options, I have decided to return to Southern Miss for a year to earn my way back into the NFL."
Southern Mississippi Head Coach was more than thrilled with Favre's decision.
"Obviously I feel we now have a chance to contend for a National Title with Brett as our QB," Larry Fedora said on Thursday at a Press Conference, "The only issue is lack of eligibility...and the dumb interceptions he's been throwing for years.
Longtime professional football announcer and video-game aficionado John Madden was on hand for the press conference.
"Obviously this is a great move for all interested parties. Brett Favre, the greatest QB of our generation, gets to play again and Southern Miss gets to play the greatest QB of our generation week in and week out."
That wasn't the most surprising statement Madden made. "I too, will move down to focus on college football now, so that I may focus my career on what I do best: suck up to Brett Favre."
After announcing Favre's return to Southern Miss, the Golden Eagles shot up from being previously unranked to become the 1st ever non-BCS school to earn the number 1 ranking in the latest polls.

WNBA Fight Still Unable To Make The Sport Interesting

DETROIT-- Tuesday night's Exhibition match up between the Detroit Shock and Los Angeles Sparks gave way to a fairly dry and uneventful fight with less than 10 seconds remaining in the game.
"I have to say I was a little disappointed," Ron Artest said after watching the fight for the thirteenth time on YouTube in less than an hour, "I saw no heart out there, and even worse no one rested on the announcer's table just begging a fan to get involved, but then again I'm not even sure there is an announcer's table to rest on, or for that matter a fan of the WNBA."
The lack of flair in the cat fight that denegrated from rookie sensation Candace Parker's tackle on Plennett Pierson, who appeared to be the aggressor between the two players.
"I wanted to show everyone that I can do everything the men can do," Parker said to the media, "I figured what better Arena to prove that in than the one that the real professional basketball players turned into a riot."
Unfortunately for Parker, she was unable to take the fight into the crowd so she could have time off to promote a record for a band she represents.
"My band is just as good as Artest's, I was hoping for some time off to help them on their tour."

MLS Season Cancelled Due To Lack Of Ratings

TORONTO--- After the MLS All-Star game drew less than a .3 on the Nielsen Rating System, MLS executive Rock Tarrison spoke out and said that the MLS had been cancelled.
"We regret to inform the media of ESPN and ABC's joint decision to cancel the MLS. It comes as a great disappointment to us all and a complete surprise - we certainly thought we'd outlast the WNBA," Rock said fighting back the tears Thursday evening.
ESPN President of Alternative Programming During The Slow Months, Jack Jackson said the move was purely budgetary and the WNBA would have been gone if it wasn't for the 3,000,000 views on The Fight videos posted all over the web.
Lone Soccer fan Derrick Hernandez, who resides in San Diego, CA. was outraged.
"It's bullsh*t," Hernandez said, "football has been my life for twenty years and now they decide to trash it when they still allow garbage shows like SuperNanny, High School Musical and that trash TitleTown on ESPN."
When told the MLS was only in existance for 12 years, Hernandez said, "F-ck off," and proceeded to storm off in a huff, presumably heading towards Mexico.

SuperBiker Finishes Tour De France Days Before Scheduled Finish

PARIS--- 6 foot 3 245 pount biker Hans Trabasso finished the Tour De France today after biking for 20 straight days.
"I feel confident that my victory will be upheld by the Cycling heads, as I was the first person to finish the race, therefore winning it."
When asked about drug tests Hans proceeded to smash the podium into two pieces shouting in a mixture of different languages.
Hans needed to be restrained from the media after the question was asked, it is quite likely that a positive drug test will disqualify Hans and the real winner will be decided Sunday