Game Misconduct Volume 1 Edition 4

Favre Has Arm Soreness

NEW YORK--- In what is being called the worst Madden curse of all time, Brett Favre is experiencing arm soreness after 4 days of practice.
"We knew he was old, but we thought we could at least get a full year out of him," said Jets rookie end Vernon Gholston.
Eric Mangini was especially shocked after having to give up a 4th round pick for the future hall of famer.
"If I had known Favre would have soreness 4 days in, I would have only offered a 7th round pick and a bag of tortilla chips."
Favre could not be reached for comment because he was at the AARP Free Bingo night.
Chad Johnson Accidentally Reveals His TD Celebration For Week 1

CINCINATTI--- Chad Johnson in a state of lucidness accidentally revealed his super-secret touchdown celebration for Week 1 against the Baltimore Ravens.
"I plan on thwarting a terrorist attack with one call to President Bush and balancing the budget in 12 seconds all while lowering the price of gas to $3 a gallon. It's gonna be amaizng, but that's Ocho Cinco's middle name," said Johnson after being drugged up after injuring his shoulder Saturday night.
"If Chad can do that," said Coach Marvin Lewis, "I will actually have to debate the need to have anyone other than Chad on the field for the offense."
Carson Palmer could not be reached for comment because he was back in Southern California helping Rey Maulauga find a G-string that actually fits.


Chinese Gymnasts Driver's License Only Permits Operating Barbie Jeep

BEIJING--- Chinese gymnasts controversy got out of hand Wednesday night as a reporter requested to see her drivers license.
"She pulled out her lisense and it clearly said, 'this card is not operable with any real cars other than Barbie Jeep.' It was astounding how nobody caught this earlier," said reporter Jackie Thomas-Fefferman.
Chinese gymnasts coach could not be reached for comment as he had taken the team out for pizza and play-time at Chuckie-Cheese.

French Men's Relay Team Drown After Swallowing Pride In Pool

BEIJING---In what is being called the worst Olympic accident of all time, French swimmer Alain Bernard died Tuesday evening after swallowing pride after Jason Lezak and the United States Men's Relay team beat the French by .02 of a second.
"It was really sad," Gold-Medalist Michael Phelps said, "but Bernard was a giant douche and I'm not going to lie, I kind of cracked a smile at the end of it."
Bernard had recently been quoted as saying the French relay team was in Beijing to "smash the Americans."